Oh, man! Another hipster erotic thriller? Seriously?
Actually, The Bad Sister is like no other hipster erotic thriller you've ever read. It's steaminess is so perversely contagious you will likely end up pleasuring yourself in shame, and then diving right back in!
But only for two days.
Because that's how long it should take you to read The Bad Sister, two protracted and vigorous—yet blissful—bursts of intense reading on the toilet or on the job. Hell, you can even read it to your partner in bed. In fact, I recommend it.
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Still not sure? I don't blame you. Scroll down for the official Bad Sister FAQ.
On the Scoville Scale, just how spicy is The Bad Sister?
Good question, but we don't want to mix that kind of spice with this kind of spice. Let's just say any novel about telepathic orgasms is bound to be sizzling.
Is there rough sex involved?
Not the kind you're thinking of. This is an erotic novel and has plenty of "slick members" and "glistening entrances", but no truly revolting sexual aberrations, except for the final scene, which will make you hate me forever.
What if I buy The Bad Sister for my teenage nephew? Will I get sued?
I wouldn't recommend it. Maybe, and don't blame me.
Can I mail a check to you to buy my copy?
Is there a sex scene with Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber in this book?
There is no sex scene with Gomez or Bieber, but for a fee I will add one to your copy of The Bad Sister. Here is my Paypal address: email@example.com. Just use the code name: Uncle Bob.
How do you "get inside the head" of your female characters?
How do you know I'm not a woman?
Will there be a Bad Sister 2?
There may very well be. And it will star Billy Bob Thorton.
What if I'm reading this book at work, like you suggested, and I get the urge to "relieve myself"?
I'm so glad you asked this. Many years ago when I had a job stacking books at a university library, I worked with a guy who did just that. He said it actually woke him up. So, if you're at work—and sneaking in a few pages of smut—please relieve yourself. Just not in the company of your coworkers or in the elevator. Find a quiet corner or a handsome potted plant and indulge your erotic passions in semi-private.
Can you add a scene with a unicorn?
Are you turned on by unicorn sex? Please visit Chuck Tingle.
Do you support practicing the sexual acts you write about?
Oh, yes. I would rather discover and practice a mildly perverse and/or novel sexual act than save a whole family of helpless humpback whales from a tsunami. I recommend you do the same.
You've really made me hot. How can I read a chapter?