UGANDAN HOOKER

He said, “Yeah man, if a hooker gets pregnant there, they make her eat the baby right after it’s born.” I said, “I wish my mom was a Ugandan hooker.”
— Sam Pink | I Am Going to Clone Myself Then Kill the Clone and Eat It

Reading Scott McClanahan and Sam Pink at the same time is a little like getting lost in a clearcut forest with a sad little kid tugging on each arm.

I'm talking about Hill William, which I'm loving. But more on McClanahan later.

On the back of I Am Going to Clone Myself Then Kill the Clone and Eat It (a Lazy Fascist reprint), it says Sam Pink is a bipolar idiot. I think I've read that before. Or maybe somebody told me that before. Sometimes I wonder if Sam Pink really is a bipolar idiot. Other times you get lines like these. There are plenty of them:

My old roommate let one of his military buddies move in a while back. When the guy moved in, he spent three months on the living room couch staring at the tv. He ate chips and watched soap operas all day. I had a conversation with him one afternoon. He talked about Uganda where he was previously stationed. He said, "Yeah man, if a hooker gets pregnant there, they make her eat the baby right after it's born." I said, "I wish my mom was a Ugandan hooker."

Max Sheridan

Nicosia, Cyprus

I’m a writer of pulp fiction and the director of Write CY, a community creative writing platform in Nicosia, Cyprus. I also do copywriting, proofreading and translating at Storyline Creatives, a boutique writing consultancy with a focus on storytelling.